Children are from heaven (Psalm 127:3). When Jesus walked on this earth, He always had time for children. Can you imagine this strong carpenter scooping them up in His arms with a big smile on His face? And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them (Mark 10:16 NKJV). Therefore, children should be loved and valued highly.
But parents also have the responsibility of disciplining their children in the Lord. This discipline is for their good and proves the parents' love for the child. My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; for whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:11,12). So should parents spank their children? For many years, there have been voices in our society that have been calling for parents to stop this practice of discipline. One of which is the American Academy of Pediatrics, the largest professional association of pediatricians. But what does the Bible say? Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol (Proverbs 23:13,14 ESV). Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Prov. 13:24). Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Clearly, the Bible prescribes corporal punishment. So is the word of God outdated? Is it wrong on this subject? Since we believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, the answer is an unequivocal, "No!”
Corporal punishment is from heaven, but child abuse is from hell. Neither the passages above, nor any others in Scripture endorse physical or mental abuse; rather, the Bible condemns it. Abuse by a parent provokes his child to anger (Ephesians 6:4), which the parent is commanded not to do. Note also, in the passage above, that the purpose of physical discipline is to save his life (Prov. 23:14), not to harm or destroy, which is what child abuse does. Its purpose is to produce wisdom and banish foolishness. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother (Prov. 29:15 NKJV). Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him (Prov. 22:15). Spanking should be carried out with a heart of love for the child (Prov. 13:24), not of ill-will. A parent who mistreats his children cannot hide behind Scripture.
Physical discipline promotes righteousness. It motivates the foolish to straighten up and be wise. One commentator wrote, "The fact that the rod is mentioned indicates that the sages had no illusions about young people. It is not a matter of trying to bring the best out of children. Wisdom had to be drummed into them, sometimes literally" (Tremper Longman III, Baker Commentary on the Old Testament: Proverbs (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2006), 426.).
Parents should pray for wisdom when it comes to bringing up their children. Corporal punishment should not be used in every transgression and disobedience, but judiciously and with self-control. Parents should also do their best to let their children know that they love them, just like our heavenly Father does for us. Hugs and kisses, encouragement and affection, should significantly outnumber spankings and rebukes. May we, as God's people, take heed to the wisdom found in the word of Christ, especially if the wisdom of men goes against it. Our children will be better for it. Brotherly, Jamie
